January 1st, 1864
        Last night we retired in peace and quietude, feeling that we had been wonderfully preserved from the ravages during the past year. We had been so long unmolested that we almost ceased to fear for the future and to settle down in quiet indifference. All our neighbors had fled into the interior with one exception. Kate Lang had remained although ready to flee at the first approach of danger.
        We were startled from a sound sleep by Sybil and Gussie coming in to tell us that a shell had just been fired on our Bluff, and that the Yankees were probably at the wharf. Mr. Fisher very incredulous went out to explore, but soon returned laughing at the lively imagination of the household, nothing was to be seen or heard. Gussie caught his gun and ran down to the mill. We went to bed again and to sleep. Soon Gussie returned with the information that the old mill was on fire and the yankees had taken to their boats and gone down the river. So they had come at last and caught us napping.
        The pickets were roused from their slumbers by the firing of the shell and ran to the woods leaving horses and guns behind. The shell went through the warehouse bursting inside, destroying some nice machinery and throwing the door from its hinges. They then fired small arms, one shot raised a splinter on Mr. Brazil's House.
        We conclude that they intended firing the new mill first, but perhaps seeing Mrs. Brazil, who was spinning by a bright fire, and knowing that her family might be endangered by it, dropped down to the old mill, where they soon made an illumination. Capt. Beadick's company came down in the morning viewed the ruins and returned. On Christmas night "Fairfields" was burnt a little before, "Bellevue" both old homes of Mr. Floyd.
         This is the beginning of our New Year and we have had many deprivations since the beginning of this war, but no actual suffering. Our main living has been pork, rice and hominy--parched grits for coffee without milk or sugar. How often we talk of the good things we once enjoyed and wonder if we shall ever enjoy them again. A slice of bread and butter and a sweetened cup of tea would be a treat indeed, such a treat as we have not enjoyed for more than a year. Our severe trials appear to be just commencing. Thus far war has been in the distance, now its ravages are becoming tangible.
         Sybil feels almost overwhelmed with her many trials, and predicts a gloomy future. Our greatest trial at present, is this exile from friends. We feel completely bound--there is no way of escape. Only one letter has reached us in two years from home and that contained the news of my Mother's death. Oh! how I long to fly away and be free--must we be pent in the wilderness for years yet to come? We see no prospect of peace.
         People are afraid to let us have their negroes, we are so near the coast. We have now a man and woman and two children but they are not enough. Dianah is now away having her Christmas and we feel quite uncomfortable to be obliged to cook and run about in the cold. Although we live so retired and so plain there is a good deal of work to be done on the place. Mr. Fisher and John are clearing up a new place and making fence for a garden. We have been down to see the ruins--the wind blows and it is the coldest day of the season--thermometer at 22.

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January 3rd--Sunday
        The children in the village are now old enough to begin to learn. A few weeks since we commenced having a Sabbath School. There are five in the class. Only one knew the alphabet, they seem very anxious to learn and learn readily, but Mr. Brazil is so frightened at the coming of the enemy that he has resolved to move away and that takes away the three little girls. I am sorry to lose them and they seem equally sorry to go. The sabbaths are so quiet and lonely they weary us. The children now know all their letters and seem to have received their first idea of their maker. The oldest is scarcely ten years of age and very sickly. She told me today that although she could not read and write she can iron and scrub. It is said that she and the next, aged eight, cook, wash, etc.
        If this war continues long I fear that such will be our fate, the negroes are becoming so scarce. Dianah returned after dinner with her two children--had walked about eight miles in the rain. She brought a hen and a bottle of syrup for Clarence--a Christmas gift. Mr. Linn came home to visit his family from camp, to the great joy of his wife who has been mourning for him. She and her little boy are entirely alone and pass as lonely a life as can well be imagined--having to sit by the fire week after week without sewing or knitting and almost without reading. There is no cloth to be had and no thread, no yarn--nor anything to do with. Time passes heavily under such circumstances. It makes us think of home and the abundance we once enjoyed; but however great our longings, there is no redress.
        For three long years the world has been comparatively lost to us. We know nothing of the changes that have taken place during that time. In dress we are just where we were in 1860--for fashion, but rags and wrinkles are more plentiful. Mr. Fisher dressed very shabbily. I have used bedticking--sheets--curtains and the linings of my dresses to clothe him and now we know not where to get anything more. All the old spinning wheels in the country have been put in operation and every thread that is spun has a quick demand. Mrs. Linn wears a course homespun dress that cost her $42.00. Now we cannot purchase even at that rate. Mr. Linn brings the good news that old Black Nelly is coming to live with them again which has brought joy to the household.

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January 4th
        Today Clarence is five years old. He is the darling of the household but in danger of being spoiled in consequence. Gussie has now arrived at the conscript age and is making arrangements to join the army. Fred has come home after an absence of two months. He has been to Thomasville to visit Julia (Ellis' widow) found her pleasantly situated, surrounded by a large circle of friends. She introduced him to several young ladies--and he is now in love with Thomasville--wishes his mother to move there as he has come to the conclusion we are on the jumping off place of creation. I only wish I could see a place to jump. Julia sent Mr. Fisher six yards of striped homespun for shirts, a rich and welcome gift and gratefully received. This induces us to take a retrospective view of things when cloth and shirts were abundant such as would now cost five dollars a yard. Extortion is carried on at a high rate. We fear that we have not seen the worst.

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January 6th
        We are now having our rainy season and we are drenched inside and out. The house leaks badly. Nails are so scarce that whenever a building is burned there is a quick demand for nails. Mr. Brazil has gone with his family to "Brookfield" to an old dilapidated house without windows and almost demolished by the pickets. It is two miles from here. They think they may bring the children over to Sunday School. I am sorry to have them go--they felt so interested and anxious to learn. Now we have only Frank Linn and Clarence.
       Yesterday Mr. Fisher and the boys went to Jeffersonton to Town meeting. Came home in a soaking rain and brought half a sack of flour which cost $35.00. We could easily eat it in a week, but it will be kept for a luxury. The best thing that we have now is a corn cake, mixed with water. Our corn is ground in a hand mill, which holds about 4 quarts, and is very hard to grind. The rice is beaten from the hull in a mortar made from a log and burnt out, which is also a very hard process--particularly when there is a large hungry family to feed. Those two articles with pork have constituted our living for a year past, sometimes not all of that.
        On Christmas day we fared sumptuously. Mrs. Lynn dined with us and furnished the turkey. We had some chickens and a piece of fresh pork. Gussie had been off ten miles and brought oysters--so we had an oyster stew and chicken salad, minus the greens, potatoes and rice. The turkey was dressed with corn bread. Our dessert was a corn meal pudding wet with water, enriched with bottled huckleberries and pork fat; sauce made of borrowed syrup and flour--it was excellent, how we did relish it! but we talked of the good pies and bread and cakes that linger in remembrance, and the nuts and apples that pass around so freely in that land of plenty. It is hard to be so entirely deprived of them but we try to console ourselves with the fact that we enjoy better health and appetites. We are always hungry-- hungry the year round, but do not grow fat.

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January 7th
        Sybil made arrangements with Mr. Lynn for moving the machinery out the new mill to save it from the enemy. It is proposed to move it back into the woods, and cover it. There has been great destruction of property here by the pickets as well as the enemy. Instead of a protection they are a great injury; and nuisance--not one raised a finger to save any property from the fire, and no person has been near us. We are in a desolated region. Should the enemy burn us out we know not where to go. "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" We can see the kind hand of Providence extended over us. Gussie has joined Capt. Beaddick's Company, and appears pleased at the idea of standing guard. He and Fred will be at home some days. We eagerly watch for the mail to see if there are any indications of peace--but all is black as midnight. They are bound to fight to the bitter end and bitter enough it will be. Sybil has sent about the country to get some syrup but none is to be had. It brings from five to ten dollars a gallon and sugar $3.00 per lb. It is hard to sweeten at that rate. Confederate money is very lightly esteemed. Fred thinks it hard to live on pork and hominy but we shall be quite thankful if we can have enough of that.

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January 13th
        Rain--rain. There has been almost constant rain since the month came in. All have colds. We curl over the fire, eat heartily of hog and hominy three times a day. We have become so disgusted with the black muddy corn juice that is called coffee that we have resumed tea again. It is rather a bitter dose but has proved such a tonic for me that my allowance of food scarcely satisfies me. Fred is still dissatisfied with the lack of variety, but I think the lack of quantity is most to be feared.
        The boys draw rations, about a quart of rice and a pound of bacon for fifteen days. The poor soldiers who have no homes to go to are to be pitied. Our boys are now here on picket duty. Will be off in a few days. It costs them a great deal to live in camp--provisions are so high. Pork $1.50 per pound; Eggs $2.00 per dozen. Mr. Linn has got a part of the machinery out of the new mill, it looks melancholy to see it taken down, before it has had time to run. It was raised at a great expense and just ready for operation when the war put a stop to all business here.
        We are now beginning to plant the garden hoping to have something in the way of vegetables. We had very little last year, but fruit was unusually abundant. Every tree and bush being full--peaches and plums in the garden. Berries in profusion for miles around us. They afforded us good living for several weeks.
        A letter has reached us from Aug and Ophelia informing us of the death of Frank. Poor Frank! has ended his sorrowful life after a long sickness --dead a whole year before the tidings reached us. They write for us to go home. We are so desirous to go that we hardly know how to wait and yet we may be obliged to stay another year. This is the second letter that we have received during the last two years.

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January 16th
        We have had a dreary winter thus far. Cold and wet. Augustus' letter has increased our desire to go North. We have talked with Sybil about it. She felt at first unreconciled, but upon deliberation has concluded that it may be best. Mr. Fisher is feeble and feels as if he must go back where he can mingle with friends, and have a living more congenial to his tastes. The undertaking seems great and hazardous. We know not how to manage nor who to apply to for advice or assistance. Mrs. Chappelle and Autie wish to go with us. It seems difficult for me to determine what is right.
        Mr. Fisher feels that he is not called to sacrifice his entire happiness to remain. It is hard to part with Clarence and there's after all an attachment to this forest home. The fruit trees that we planted with our own hand, the flowers that we have cultivated with so much labor, the palmettoes that we have so delighted to gather and braid--the fields of berries and the little sacred burying ground under the cluster of cedars all have a charm. I shall want to see them again and our light wood fires that are so bright and cheerful on a cold day, this is the sunny side. The more we think of going North the more good reasons present themselves for going.

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January 22nd
        Frank Linn got badly hurt by a heavy iron wheel which fell upon him. It was a very narrow escape from death--no bones were broken. Whatever may occur there is no physician within sixteen miles. It is a busy time here. Mr. Fisher is laboring hard with black John to finish the new garden fence. The little garden in the midst of the forest has a very pleasant look. Sybil has been three days boiling soap out doors. It reminds one of a gypsy camp when Dianah gets out with her baby stirring the pots. She has a pretty little mulatto three months old. We take it often into the house, nurse it and kiss it and put it in our own beds to sleep. It was a cold morning when it came to us--about three o'clock. Fred awoke us with the information that there was a fuss at the negro house. We ran as quick as possible and there was the little fellow on the cold floor shivering. He had met with a cold reception. We took him into the house before a good fire and he looked as white as anybody's baby--he was soon nicely fixed in the clothes basket. Clarence was surprised and delighted with the sight and it has been his great pleasure ever since to hold and fondle little Josey. Major Bailey says he has given him to Clarence--whether he is in earnest or not we know not.
        We hear that Mr. Epstein (the postmaster) and his wife have fled to the Yankees. They passed the pickets in the night and had a boat hid in some creek. He is a jew and did not like the idea of going into the army. Everything that can hold a gun must go, and many would like to flee.

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January 26nd
        Mr. Fisher and myself went to see Mrs. Alberti (who lives in Florida and has just returned from the North) to get information. She found great difficulty in obtaining a passport to return and met with so many detentions and obstacles that it has quite dampened my ardor for going, but Mr. Fisher is in no wise daunted. I dislike to leave on account of Sybil and feel as if there is great uncertainty about going. We stayed over night with Mrs. Alberti, had a cup of real coffee and tea with sugar and milk, and biscuit and butter. Our ride was about 23 miles and all the way through pine woods. Now and then a house to cheer the sight. We were upset once by the breaking of a rein, the buggy was turned completely over and left in the gutter. We fortunately were near a house where we procured help. The spinning wheel was going briskly--the women were hard at work trying to clothe the family while the men were in the army. They were indifferent as to the termination of the war if it would only end that they might be kept from starvation. We stopped at Dr. Mitchell's. Mrs. Mitchell put on an old cloak to hide her rags and says they are experiencing great destitution. We have frequent applications from people far and near for clothing. So far as we can ascertain people seem certain that the confederacy is short lived; that this year must terminate the war. Confederate money is almost valueless. Worth only five cents on the dollar. Dr. Mitchell prepared for me a bottle of cough mixture and a few powders--charged $8.00. Sent in Sybil's bill, a little short of $300 for eight or nine visits--and refuses confederate money. Julia writes that she will soon visit us and bring some necessary articles.

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January 31st
        Today Et is 48 years old. I fear we shall be old women when we meet again--should we be so favored. Yesterday we had another letter from Augustus. Nothing new, but Mrs. Edward's marriage. Mrs. Brazil with five children, one at the breast, with mule and cart came over to bring the children to Sabbath School. They seem very eager to learn. The weather is Summer like, we sit with open doors and find the Sun very oppressive.

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